


Promise

by LZlola



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masturbation, Mild Language, Sexual Content, mentions voyeurism, public foreplay I guess?, some fluff at the beginning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-03-30 21:43:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3952834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LZlola/pseuds/LZlola
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>People say that if you love something, set it free, and if that something comes back, it’s the real deal. Well, that’s a bunch of bullcrap. It just hurts much more the second time around.</p>
<p>Without the uncertainty looming over their wrestling careers, Seth and Dean try to turn a casual relationship into something serious. A story about trying to navigate a relationship with old flames, insecurity and commitment issues. Starts during FCW. Not Kayfabe-compliant.</p>
<p>Edit 5/2017: ON HOLD UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this turned into something way longer than the intended one-shot. Rating and some tags are for later chapters. More may be added.

The only sound Seth hears when he tells Dean it’s over is the swirling wind outside during one rainy night in October.

Seth learned from his days in Ring of Honor that being in a relationship with a co-worker was tough. It always started great, but everything ended in a complete clusterfuck when one of you got shoved into the big leagues and neither of the two wanted to talk about it without yelling and throwing furniture at the walls. He doesn’t want his dysfunctional _whatever_ with Jimmy Jacobs to happen with him and Dean.

So Seth’s speech is practiced. Not because it’s fake, but because it’s too real. He tells Dean that he’s just not ready to handle it all. That he really wants to focus on his career right now because he figures that his big break is going to come any day now. Seth couldn’t imagine that he’d be in FCW for much longer so he’s stopping it before it gets serious, before it gets to be anything more than just a few nights a week in the same bed.

He promises Dean that once they both get their feet steady in the business, they can discuss something more concrete than just the casual hookups. This isn’t final and it isn’t really a breakup. Seth tells him to see it more like a pause.

Dean doesn’t say much; he just delivers a succinct, “Okay,” before getting up to leave.

Seth worries about Dean for the next few days, but it’s all for naught. Dean apparently doesn’t dwell on the rejection, as Seth finds a man, barely out of his teens, sneak out of his motel room later that week.

Good for him, he thinks.

* * *

 

They go their separate ways and move on into different feuds. And what Seth thought was only going to be a few days to catch his big break becomes months. And adding onto that frustration is the fact that he realizes that he never had to call it quits with Dean so prematurely.

But it’s for the best, Seth reasons, because he doesn’t want to make their relationship out to be more than it was, especially since he doesn’t know what the future holds for him in this company anymore.

Management makes it easier on him because for whatever reason, management decides that Dean doesn’t need to be on TV as much. Dean never seems to be backstage, so they stop “unexpectedly” running into each other late into the evening and inviting the other to stay the night.

Seth does notice his absence, but, to be sure, he isn’t pining away for Dean and he doubts that Dean is either. What they had was great, but as with most relationships with people in their mid-twenties, especially wrestlers, it was probably fleeting and insignificant in the long run. Seth thinks about Dean just as much as anyone in he’s had a past relationship with.

It was fine. Really.

* * *

 

But by coincidence, or maybe fate, Seth gets sent up to the main WWE roster along with Dean and one of their friends, Roman. They don’t get pulled apart. In fact, the company tells them that they are intent on having them work together for as long as possible.

When they see each other again right before an 8-man tag match down in Tampa, literally less than a couples of weeks before their planned debut onto the main roster, Seth simply gives Dean a casual nod and Dean returns a shrug.

But everything, oddly enough, is even more arousing when they wrestle side-by-side rather than against one another. There is always so much chemistry and sensual stimulation between the two of them in the ring that it’s no wonder that they’d both end up on their backs at some point or another. But the funny thing is that listening to the other desperately moan face-down on the mat and watching the other get manhandled by another wrestler right in front of the other…seem to be just as enticing.

Maybe it’s awakening the voyeur inside of him, but instead of pure tactile stimuli, he has to rely solely on his visual and aural cues. Which tends to get a much slower rise out of him, but also generates a much more gratifying release in the end.

So a few nights after they get reacquainted, they fuck. It’s hot and sloppy and they can’t hold off for more than a few minutes before they’re both panting and covered in a slick, sticky film of saliva, sweat and cum.

And Seth figures that maybe he was just prolonging the inevitable. Putting the relationship on hold – and promising something more – was never necessary. After all, it would be foolish to think that they’d never wrestle each other again, and by extension that they’d never be _here_ , lying next to each other exhausted and drunk in a blissful haze of euphoria.

* * *

 

So they start fucking after tapings and shows regularly on the main roster, as if no time has passed since that night in October a little more than a year ago.

Seth promised Dean then that he’d reconsider their relationship when they were on the main roster, when they made a name for themselves, when they could both give the relationship the time and effort it deserves. And now they’re both where they dreamed they’d be at as little kids –  getting pushed into main events and being touted as the brightest superstars spearheading the new generation of WWE.

There’s nothing stopping them anymore. There’s nothing stopping them from moving a physical relationship to the next level. There’s nothing stopping them from making them _something_.

But when Dean tries to wrap his arm around Seth’s waist as he’s leaving the hotel, almost three weeks into their newly resumed relationship, Seth pulls away.

Because the funny thing about stripping all of the complications and obstacles of their wrestling careers is that what’s left is just the two of them. A real relationship with no excuses to fall back on.

And Seth doesn’t think it sounds so hard. Trying to make a physical relationship something more. Because isn’t that how all relationships start? Just a little physical attraction. A little wink, a brush on the arm, a chaste kiss.

Simple, he tells himself.

But Seth can’t help but feel like they’re moving too fast. Everything feels so intimate. Every touch, every whisper, every moan – they all seem so much more significant than before.

Now he’s wondering if somehow that small caress on the neck Dean gave him last weekend meant “I love you,” or if Dean thinks that sharing a photo of his dog last week was an invitation to spend time with him at Christmas.

Maybe he’s paranoid, and maybe he’s always been a little too careful in his relationships. He likes control and he doesn’t like making the same mistakes twice. But it’s because that’s who he is and just because he’s with Dean now, it doesn’t mean Seth’s going to change.

Seth knows that Dean notices this and he figures that Dean must feel a little hurt by the fact that he tries to make a lame excuse about having bad breath and pulls away a little abruptly when Dean tries to lean in to kiss him. Dean pretends to look cool on the outside, but Seth knows Dean well enough to know that even though he can play every character in the book, the one thing he can’t do is keep something to himself

They’re grabbing a bite to eat, after one of the Smackdown tapings, when Dean asks him about Seth’s recent behavior.

“Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?” he asks, chomping on the last of his French fries. He says it in a very casual tone, but from Dean’s overly fidgety hands, it’s obvious that he’s nervous to hear the answer.

“What? No,” Seth denies, shaking his head. “Why would you think that?”

“You always push me away out in public. And I know you don’t want to make this a big deal – and I don’t either – but I feel like you kind of don’t want me.” Dean kind of mumbles the last part, as he looks down at his burger.

Seth thinks back and he realizes that maybe he _had_ been rejecting him in public. Unintentionally, of course. Dean tended to get a bit warm and affectionate in public. Behind closed doors, Dean never bothered with loving caresses or soft kisses. He usually just went straight for Seth’s pants’ zipper, and Seth can handle that – the simple, carnal desire that they were so well-versed in since their first hookup more than a year ago. He just doesn’t know what they are now once everything has become official.

“I want you,” Seth assures him, rubbing his knee under the table. And Seth _does_ want Dean. Despite all of the doubts running rampant through Seth’s head, Seth likes Dean and Seth is interested in a real relationship with him. He just doesn’t want Dean to think that a year of casual hookups means anything more than just a year of casual hookups.

Dean doesn’t look convinced, and Seth realizes that a small gesture under the table isn’t going to alleviate Dean’s concern. Seth then leans over the table and grabs the back of Dean’s head to pull him closer. He presses his lips against Dean’s to reassure him and there’s an instantaneous rush of heat from his lips to his toes when their lips meet. Dean’s lips part in a drawn-out sigh and as their tongues tangle together, Seth shows him just how much he wants him with his fingers and teeth and tongue – everything but his words. Dean makes a small whimper at the loss of contact, even though he’s the one to break it.

“People are staring at us,” Dean explains breathlessly, resting his forehead against Seth’s.

“Whatever,” Seth responds lazily, kissing him again. “I’m not ashamed of who we are or who you are,” Seth reiterates. He pulls back a bit, but lingers close enough that the Dean can still feel the sharp prickling sensation of Seth’s beard and Seth can still hear their breathing slow to a normal rate.  

“Well, I guess you don't have a problem with PDA. What's wrong, then?” he asks, snapping his head up, not understanding.

Seth pauses. He wants to tell Dean all of his worries about a relationship that began as just sex. All of his doubts about being in a relationship with someone he’s known for years – but not quite. All of his fears about making the same mistakes he’s made in past relationships. Because he wants this to work, and Seth knows he can’t expect this to work without him trying to tell Dean these things.

But all the words he wants to say gets tied up on his tongue and the only thing Seth can blurt out is “It’s weird.”

Dean just nods. “You know, this is new for me too,” he starts. “We can always slow things down. Just tell me what you want to do.”

It sounds odd because their version of slowing things down is focusing on the physical. And in the back of Seth’s mind, he wonders if there’s something wrong with his mentality – being comfortable with the sex part, but not the intimate, lovey-dovey stuff normal couples do.

“I don’t think you-” Seth tries.

But Dean takes Seth’s hand into his own, and the unexpected softness in his hands and the eyes staring back at him interrupts Seth’s train of thought.

“Here, let’s start again. Hi, I’m Dean,” he begins, extending his other hand. Seth just stares at his outstretched hand. “And you are…?” Dean prompts.

“Seth,” he answers slowly.

“I know who you are. I’ve seen you wrestle,” Dean says, his tone suddenly light. Seth tilts his head.

“You’ve seen me wrestle?” Seth replies a few seconds late, not quite understanding still.

“Yeah, you’re really good,” Dean nods, his eyes shining. And Seth finally gets what Dean’s trying to do. And if this were some romantic comedy, Seth would, no doubt, groan and tease Dean mercilessly for even thinking of the clichéd relationship reset button.

But it’s not a movie, and in practice, it’s actually adorable.

“You think?” Seth asks, a smile forming as he catches on.

“Now don’t let it go to your head…”

“But you think I’m cute and talented…” Seth plays along.

“Wait a minute…I never said you were cute,” Dean denies, grinning anyway.

“You bought me dinner though. I must have caught your eye,” he points out, gesturing at the empty plates of food on the table. Dean lets out a genuine laugh.

“It was your hair,” Dean says, leaning across the table.

“You wanted to buy me dinner because of my hair?” Seth asks amused.

“Reminds me of all those awesome punk bands,” Dean reasons.

“Okay, now I know you’re just trying to get in my pants. You hate the stuff I listen to,” Seth snorts, dropping the act.

“Hmm,” Dean starts, scooting his chair closer to him. He furtively runs his hand up Seth’s thigh. “Is it working?” There’s a sudden change in Dean’s expression, almost as if he’s suddenly aware of something particularly interesting and appetizing in front of him.

And Seth suddenly remembers why the reset button doesn’t work in real life. It's pretty much impossible to forget the problems and issues that led you to press the reset button in the first place.

“Dean,” Seth cautions. Because it feels like they’re jumping back right into the sex that basically defined their first relationship – a relationship that, although great in its own simple way, should be completely different from this current one.

“Sorry, habit,” Dean stops himself. He gives Seth a sheepish grin, but his hand remains on Seth’s thigh. “As much as I like the feeling of your perfect ass tightening and clenching around me and the way your body absolutely cries and begs for more with every shudder and every thrust when I wrap my lips around your cock-” Deans goes on very casually, the only difference being the lowered volume of his voice.

Seth stills and Dean takes this opportunity to travel his hand up Seth’s thigh. A shiver runs down Seth’s body at the thoughts Dean is putting into his head.

“- And trust me,” Dean smirks, “I thoroughly enjoy that feeling.” Dean’s grin grows wider as he traces the outline of Seth’s bulge in his flimsy athletic shorts.

Seth’s breath catches in the back of his throat and he unconsciously slumps down to the edge of his seat trying to get closer to Dean’s probing hands.

His body is betraying him, doing the exact opposite of what his brain is telling him, but he figures that there’s no way that Dean would try something in public, so he lets Dean continue because he wants to hear what he has to say.

The little ministrations of his hands and the rasp of his voice are just bonuses.

“We can go as slow or as fast-” Dean pauses, moving his hand up again. He hooks his finger underneath Seth’s waistband and follows the elastic riding low on Seth’s hips, his nail scraping across his skin. He stops his curious fingers right above Seth’s cock and gives a slight tug on the waistband as he finishes his sentence with a lopsided smile, “- as you want.”

Seth should be saying something. He should be saying a lot of things. But instead, he just grips the table a little more and bites on the bottom of his lip to hold back any noise that may spill out of his mouth.

Dean always has a way with words, but he also has a way with his hands and mouth and tongue and…

Dean suddenly pulls his hand away and looks deep into Seth’s now dark, but confused eyes. The atmosphere changes in an instant as cool air from the restaurant’s air conditioning washes over his body.

“I know you, Seth,” he says, giving Seth something halfway between a smirk and a knowing smile. Seth knows he must look like a fool right now, red and flustered and absolutely perplexed at Dean's stoppage. “And maybe we haven’t been together in the traditional sense for long, but _I know you_. I know you hate pickles and I know you hate wet socks and I know you hate being put on hold because you hate the music that’s always played. And instead of coming right out and saying it, you bite your tongue and you ignore it because you hate change and you hate it when people think you’re being fussy and annoying,” he goes on. Seth sits back, knitting his brows together.

“And I know you like all of the fun things we do together – I mean, it’s pretty obvious here that I can get a literal rise out of you with just my pinky–,” he rambles on, and this time, it’s definitely a smirk that he’s wearing, now accompanied with a little suggestive wag of the eyebrow. “But I _know_ you’re weirded out by us now that we’re trying to be serious about it. So if that means starting all the way at the beginning with a ‘Hello, my name is Dean’ ruse because you want this to be real and serious and not just some _thing_ we did when we were alone and horny, I’m cool with that too,” Dean nods.  

And even though Seth is still faintly buzzing in an erotic haze, maybe, he realizes, that Dean does understand. He doesn’t need to say it; Dean can read it in his eyes, in his body language, in what Seth doesn’t manage to say.

“And I’m not saying this is love or some fairytale happily-ever-after shit, but I kind of like you, if you haven’t noticed,” Dean goes on, his eyes focused on Seth and Seth alone.

Seth softens a bit at his admission. A few minutes ago, Seth might have been scared that the relationship was getting too serious and emotional for him, but with Dean staring back at him right now, knowing that he wants this just as much as Seth does and was willing to take it slow for him, it’s not as scary anymore.

“You can take as much time as you want,” he murmurs, leaning in. Seth can feel the corners of Dean’s lips curl upwards as he plants a quick kiss on his forehead. It’s a sweet kiss, one that tells Seth that he means it. “I ain’t going nowhere,” his breath ghosting over his skin, as he pulls away.

And in spite of all the overt, borderline inappropriate PDA they’ve been engaged in at this restaurant, this is the first time that Seth actually blushes.

Because Seth doesn’t know how he got so lucky. How he managed to find someone who could be so considerate, and hot and weird and charming, who’d actually want someone so plain like him. But he doesn’t question it.

When they get back to their hotel room, they don’t have sex.

Dean just lays down next to him, with his hair slicked back and his fingers intertwined with Seth’s, and he asks Seth if he would like to go out on a “proper date.”

Seth says yes.

* * *

 

On their first date, Dean takes him to some fancy restaurant – because he knows that’s what Seth would have wanted – but they somehow end up at an old arcade in some random strip mall. Dean is competing against an 8-year old at DDR, while Seth alternates between munching on some chips from the vending machine and laughing his ass off at Dean’s flailing body and expletive-laden rants. When Dean loses for the fourth time, Seth has to drag him away by buying him a stuffed bear and some Red Hots as consolation prizes before they leave.

And it’s a weird emotion for Seth – contentment. It’s refreshing and exciting and frightening all at once. He’s usually so uptight about things and it’s almost second nature for him to worry about every single detail. But tonight, all of his doubts have been pushed to the back of his mind and he has a feeling that it has to do with the man standing in front of him.

Back at Seth’s hotel room, Dean’s hands are clasped in front of him, and he looks like an innocent choir boy with his navy dress shirt and now-loosened tie. Seth grins to himself at the notion that Dean researched the restaurant and actually dressed up to the nines _for him_ as he slides the key card. Dean is rooming with Roman for the time being so that he can keep up this charade of starting all over again, and it’s actually stupidly sweet. Everything about Dean has kind of been stupidly sweet recently.

Dean utters a brief goodnight and gives him a soft kiss on the lips. A pleasant tingling immediately courses through his body and even though they’ve kissed dozens of times before this, this feels different and new. Dean tastes like cinnamon candy, spicy and sweet, and despite Seth’s distaste for the artificial sweet, he can’t seem to get enough of the taste of it on Dean’s mouth.

When Seth tries to deepen the kiss, Dean pulls away coyly and teases, “Not on the first date.” Seth pouts in response.

He obviously asks for a second date.

And for a third and fourth and forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter has a graphic sex scene, so much so that it verges on porn without plot. I’m thinking that the scene will be as graphic as it gets for this fic, but don’t hold me to that, as future chapters could be more intense. 
> 
> Also, I was kind of blown away by the response to the first chapter! Thank you so much for all the kudos and I’m glad some of you guys seem to be enjoying this!

Dean is kissing his shoulder blade and trying to coax him out of a game of Candy Crush on his phone when Jimmy texts him, out of the blue, congratulating him about his success. Dean stops kissing him immediately.

“Jimmy?” Dean questions, peeking over his shoulder. “As in Jacobs?” There’s a bit of curiosity, hurt and scolding in his tone all at once.

As great as things have been lately, Seth isn’t too surprised at Dean’s passive-aggressive question. Dean has always been a bit insecure, and whether it is his looks or his wrestling skills, Dean always manages to put himself down somehow by comparing himself to others. Seth, for his part, has always been reluctant to give details on his past. As with any other workplace, Seth supposes, gossip travels fast, but unlike other workplaces, frustration over one’s personal life is laid out on the mat. So Dean _must_ know about his previous relationship with Jimmy because Dean and Jimmy wrestled each other right after Seth and Jimmy had their falling out.

Seth probably should have looked at the sender so he could have ignored the text, he realizes, but he didn’t even realize Jimmy’s number was still stored on his phone anyway. Plus, never in a million years did Seth think Jimmy was going to be texting him on a Thursday night four years after they saw each other last.

It’s weird, because Seth doesn’t feel the same animosity he did when they broke up. But he doesn’t feel that weird fuzzy tingling in his body when he thinks about him either. He doesn’t really feel anything anymore for him.

But it’s apparent that Dean doesn’t know that.

“Yeah,” Seth replies. “This is the first time I’ve heard from him since we broke up,” Seth adds nonchalantly. This doesn’t seem to ease Dean’s doubts because Seth can still feel the rigidity of his shoulders against him. Seth goes to place his phone on the nightstand and turns back to him. “Hey,” Seth starts softly, placing his hands on Dean’s bare chest. “It means nothing,” he assures him, brushing his lips onto Dean’s.

Dean just nods into his lips as Seth runs his hands down Dean’s sides, but the tension in Dean’s body is still there. Seth pulls away briefly.

“I’m serious,” Seth reiterates, running his hands up his shoulders and neck. “It means nothing.” He cups his face in his hands and draws slow circles on Dean’s cheeks with his thumbs. Dean licks his lips, but doesn’t say anything before Seth places wet kisses on Dean’s jaw. They fall into the bed together without another word.

When Dean falls asleep next to him, Seth goes to check his phone again. He stares at Jimmy’s text again for a few minutes. It would be rude not to reply, he thinks. Jimmy was his mentor after all, and he did help get to where he is today. He owes him a lot. So Seth simply gives a simple text back to Jimmy, “Thanks.”

It shouldn’t be a big deal.

* * *

 

But when Dean asks him about why his last relationship with Jimmy didn’t work less than a week later, it’s obvious that Dean thinks that it still is a big deal. Seth doesn’t exactly lie in response, but he’s not very forthcoming either.

“We were going in two different directions, so we decided to call it quits.” He doesn’t tell Dean that his move to the WWE was the catalyst to the breakup and he doesn’t tell him about Jimmy’s downhill spiral afterwards. He knows Dean would blow it out of proportion.

Dean makes a noise that’s halfway between a grunt and a snort.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Seth wrinkles his nose.

“I saw your texts to him,” Dean states. “You two’ve been texting back and forth a lot.”

“You…” Seth trails off, knitting his eyebrows.

_Oh_.

 So Seth may have been texting Jimmy, but it’s been completely innocent. Honestly. Just two guys catching up and talking about the business and their careers. Jimmy is clean and sober now and doing a whole lot better than when they saw each other last. But then it hits him. “Wait…you read my texts?!”

“Your phone was going off a lot and I thought it was Roman,” Dean explains quickly, realizing how bad his previous statement sounded.

“So you decide to look through my phone and read my private conversations with someone? Do you know what the hell invasion of privacy means?” Seth raises his voice in frustration.

“It wasn’t like that-” Dean denies.

“So what was it like? Someone pointed a gun to your head and told you to read my messages? _My_ messages?”

“I told you that I wasn’t purposely trying to read it, but now it sounds like I should have!” he raises his voice to match Seth’s.

“Why are you going through my phone?!” Seth exclaims. Seth is ready to smack Dean across the head, but it looks like Dean is ready to do the same.

“Why are you texting your ex, who by the way, is so obviously into you still!?” he shouts back. “Ending everything with ‘babe’ and a stupid smile?”

“He’s not into me,” he refutes adamantly, shaking his head. “Jimmy’s like that with everyone. You’ve met him. You should _know_.”

“Bullshit,” Dean accuses. “He’s trying to get into your pants!”

“Ask his mother, if you don’t believe me. Fucking ask his manicurist, who I can assure you he’s not fucking because she’s a woman in her early 60s, emphasis on the woman part.” Seth throws his hands in the air.

“So you’ve met his mother? And his goddamn manicurist?”

“We were together for years,” Seth says simply. “I knew a lot of his family and friends then.”

“Do you still have feelings for him?” Dean demands, pacing the room. Seth throws in the air exasperatedly, but tries to calm him down anyway by grabbing his shoulders and staring him straight in the eye.

“For fuck’s sake, _no_ ,” Seth says emphatically.

“Is that why you get pedicures and do all that pampering shit?” Dean goes on, not listening to him. “Was this a thing you and Jimmy did together?”

“So what if it was? I also got my dog when I was with him. Do you want me to give him up too?” Seth rolls his eyes again. “I mean, why does it matter if I do some of the things I did before with Jimmy if I’m with you now?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were texting your ex, if you don’t have anything to hide? Why is it such a big deal?” Dean asks pointedly.

“I’m not purposely trying to hide anything. I just don’t tell you every single detail of my past because it’s over and done with, and I didn’t tell you we were texting because I didn’t think it was a big deal,” he admits. “But looking through my phone? That is a fucking big deal! It’s like you don’t trust me!” Seth says heatedly.

“Well maybe I shouldn’t,” Dean says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Jimmy is just a friend,” Seth reiterates. “And if you did read those texts, you’d know I’m telling the truth. It’s over between us. I mean, I don’t ask you about your weird relationship with William Regal, even though when we went back to NXT, I saw you two talking all close and shit.” Dean narrows his eyes.

“And now it comes out…This is what it was all about, huh?”

“I’m just saying…” Seth trails off, his hands in the air, trying to act innocent.

Dean looks at him with an icy stare and turns to the door abruptly. “I’m going to crash in Roman’s room tonight.”

“Dean-” Seth tries to stop him, trying to defuse the situation somewhat. He realizes he probably went too far with the Regal comment, but Dean was being stubborn.

“I don’t want to hear it,” he snarls. “If you want to live in the past, I’m sure there’s someone you’ve been _currently_ texting who’d be more than willing to join you in your little fantasy.” Dean slams the door behind him.

He wants to run after him, but he knows that would probably just drive Dean further away.

So he decides to work out at the hotel gym to keep his mind off of Dean. Hopefully, he’ll have cooled down by then and Seth won’t have to worry about it at all.

* * *

 

It doesn’t work.

It’s been a long night, one full of anger and pent-up frustration. So once Seth’s on the elevator, on his way back to his room, his mind wanders off to the post-workout sex he and Dean had a couple of weeks ago. All the grunting from overexertion and sweat dripping down their hard bodies was too irresistible to ignore.

Seth unconsciously palms himself through his shorts just thinking about it.

When he enters his room, he doesn’t bother turning on the lights and he kicks off his shoes as he hunts through his carry-on luggage for a bottle of lube. He sets it on the bedside table, before anxiously stripping off his clothes and stretching out on top of the covers. He takes his cock into his hands and lets out a whine at the stiffness. He develops a steady rhythm of tight, firm strokes from the base to its head, and it’s not long before it’s fully erect.

He thinks about Dean’s lips wrapping around his length and the way his tongue feels flat against his shaft, the way his nails dig into his hips for leverage and the way he looks at him with dilated pupils under heavy lids.

When he doesn’t have the patience any longer, Seth sucks on his fingers and picks up some of the pre-cum at his slit, not bothering to get lube. He spreads his legs and bends his knees so that they’re flush against the bed. He pushes a finger against his hole and closes his eyes.

To drive him over the edge, Dean would always tease him with his cock, rubbing it back and forth tortuously, from his balls to his hole, pressing, insistent, but never pushing himself in for long, countless minutes. When Dean does penetrate him, he does it with care, pausing to let Seth adjust to him inside, to pull on his nipples and to kiss Seth on the underside of his jaw.   

_So hot_.

He doesn’t know if he’s imagining Dean whisper it or if it’s coming out of his own mouth, but either way, Seth’s ab muscles are tightening and his breathing is coming in short, labored gasps now, in tempo with his mimicked thrusting and stroking.

One thrust, another stroke, repeat.

He thinks about the way Dean feels buried inside of him, stretching him and filling him until he feels like he he’s about to explode. Frenzied and wild, then slow and deliberate, until Dean stills inside of him. His hot breath dances across his neck as he tells him how good Seth is to him.

Seth’s muscles start involuntarily clenching around his finger and he withdraws it to a strangled whimper. He gropes around the nightstand for more lube, as he continues to stroke his shaft with his other hand, more desperately than before. He hurriedly squirts it into his hands and then aims it towards his hole, inadvertently spilling some onto his thighs in his ecstasy-induced fog. He angles his ass upwards a bit, takes two of his fingers this time, and inhales deeply.

Seth imagines Dean pushing himself in as far as he can go and stopping. He’s wearing a mischievous grin on his face as he leans down to bite down and suck on Seth’s shoulder blade, and Seth can feel Dean’s slick skin pressing against his chest, trapping Seth’s throbbing cock between their bodies. Dean makes a point to move against Seth, mercilessly providing more friction than Seth can handle.

_You like this, huh?_

Beads of sweat drip down from a few stray strands of Dean’s hair, as Dean lifts himself up and places his hands on the firm muscles of Seth’s chest for leverage. Dean runs his fingertips down Seth’s stomach and moves his hands over his hips. He lifts Seth’s hips up, places his calves on the tops of his shoulders and holds him there. Dean starts to pull out slowly as he kisses the underside of Seth’s thigh, causing Seth to shiver and his muscles to clench around Dean as he’s pulling out.

_Fuck._

Dean slams right back into him, almost like a natural reflex to Seth’s own reaction, as if he is reacting on pure carnal urge and Seth’s effect on him is more than he anticipated. He pushes Seth’s legs back down to the bed, effectively spreading his cheeks for better access to Seth’s hole. He falls back on top of Seth’s chest and pounds into him ruthlessly, forcing Seth’s body to jerk into him and incoherent noises to escape his lips with every thrust. Dean doesn’t let up the pace as he leans down close and into Seth’s ear.

_You like how I make you feel?_

When Seth hears Dean growl, Seth loses complete control. Seth throws his head back against the pillow as his body convulses into his hand, his fingers now furiously thrusting inside of him in search of his prostate. He curls his fingers upwards and when his fingers hit just the right spot, he shamelessly moans into the empty room.

He thinks about Dean’s tortuous withdrawal of his rock-hard cock from Seth’s body, the cum shooting out of him and into Seth’s eager mouth, and the taste of Dean smeared across his lips.

He imagines Dean collapsing onto his dick, almost in reverence, and Dean’s tongue swirling over the head of his cock, sucking and slurping and devouring every last drop that spills out of him.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck_.

Seth arches his back and thrusts into his hand feverishly, overtaken by the violent waves of pleasure. Again and again, until he collapses into the bed in a thin layer of sweat, with one hand unclenching his cock and the other sliding out of his ass.

Seth lets out a long sigh and finally opens his eyes.

Ragged, white streaks paint his stomach and his breathing takes some time to stabilize, but he never finds the release he’s looking for.

Dean’s still gone and Seth still feels empty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and comments/kudos are always appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made some minor edits to the last chapter. And again, thanks so much for taking the time to read this!

Dean doesn’t talk to him the next morning.

Actually, none of the Shield members feel like talking this morning. The entire car ride to the airport is deathly silent, as Seth stares out the passenger side window with his arms crossed over his chest and Dean twitches every few seconds pretending to sleep. Roman just alternates questioning glances between the two as he drives.

They’re getting their bags out of the trunk, when Roman puts a hand on Seth’s shoulder and finally asks what happened last night. Seth just shrugs in response and gestures vaguely towards Dean. Roman frowns and sternly tells him that they better get their shit together by next week or they should find someone else to carpool with. He’s not putting up with them in the same car.

Seth sticks his tongue out at him childishly. He knows that Roman will cave and still drive them anyway.

Roman punches him in the shoulder.

Roman and Dean manage to snag earlier flights, so while he’s waiting for his flight, Seth texts Jimmy about Dean’s anger and jealousy over their recent reunion.

His intentions are good. He figures that he can get Jimmy to ease up on the texting until this blows over. After all, the last text Jimmy sent him – the one Dean would have read first, Seth realized – was about Jimmy being back in some bar where they used to grab a beer – and at each other – after shows. And maybe…maybe Seth will concede that Jimmy was being a little too flirtatious to the uninformed, and especially to a current boyfriend.

At the time, he thought it was harmless because Jimmy’s flirting never went anywhere and Seth doesn’t even think Jimmy was trying to lead it anywhere, but he could see why Dean might have a problem with it. Seth didn’t flirt back of course, but by not stopping it, he realizes that he was inadvertently encouraging it.

Seth thinks that Jimmy’ll text back saying that he’ll just lay off for a while or stop being so…Jimmy Jacobs for a bit.

He obviously forgets who he is dealing with.

Instead, Jimmy outright calls him up immediately. He thinks Jimmy’s going to give him an earful – and he does, in a short outburst that essentially could be summed up as “Fuck him. I knew you first. What gives him the right to dictate your friends?” Seth leaves out the “Fuck you…oh right, I did and it was _fantastic_ ” part because Jimmy is just being a pain in the ass at that point. Of course, Seth telling him exactly that didn’t help much with the innuendo and teasing.

But if there’s one thing that he can’t deny about Jimmy is that Jimmy knows he’s an asshole and a flamboyantly, shamelessly flirtatious one at that that. There’s absolutely no hemming or hawing on Jimmy’s part when he states that he’s not changing his texting habits because some boyfriend doesn’t like it.

And as much as Seth kind of still hates him for it, Jimmy still knows how Seth works. Seth wouldn’t stop Jimmy, or as Jimmy put it, “I could start sexting you every goddamn night and sending my _magnificent_ dick pics at three in the morning, and I swear you’ll probably tell me to stop joking and go to sleep.”

And he’s right. Maybe not to that extreme, of course – he hopes – but Seth would just roll his eyes at every winky face or ignore every sexually-charged euphemism Jimmy tries to sneak into a conversation. He’d leave it be because he wouldn’t think of it as a problem, as a threat to his relationship with Dean, _right now_. Seth only has eyes for Dean, so what would it matter anyhow?

So that’s why Jimmy changes his tune and tells Seth to cut him loose…or at least until Dean and him are at a point in their relationship when they’re on steady ground instead of being only a couple months into their relationship.

When Seth protests, half-based on principle alone, Jimmy points out to him that it isn’t like they were missing each other before and it isn’t like they need each other now in the way they needed each other years ago.

But he needs Dean, Jimmy tells him.

Plus, after the whole mess he made of their relationship – not just you, Seth murmurs under his breath – Jimmy just wants Seth to be happy, as cliché as it sounds. And Seth talks enough about Dean for Jimmy to know that this is something that he doesn’t need to fuck up.

Olive branch of sorts…or something like that.

And Seth doesn’t know what to really say because the Jimmy he knew was never so altruistic, but when Seth really thinks about it, he’s right about it all.

It’s been cool to catch up with an old friend and it’s been nice to hear Jimmy’s voice again, but it’s nothing compared to Dean. And if Jimmy is the one who offers to cut ties when he’s the one who initiated contact in the first place…well, Seth wouldn’t feel so bad.

When Jimmy bids farewell with an “At least it was fun,” Seth has to smile and reply wryly, “Some of the time.” Jimmy chuckles in response, and it’s probably a good indication that they’ve both come to terms with what they are.

Or rather, what they could never be.

“I’ll call in another four years, and you better be about to get fucking married to Ambrose, so I can officiate the wedding and tell everyone that I’m the reason you two idiots are together.”

“I’d never let you officiate anything.”

It’s a little bittersweet that Jimmy’s laugh is the last thing he hears before the click.

When he hangs up, Seth lingers his finger over the ‘delete’ button and stares at the accompanying caller ID image for a second, before erasing Jimmy’s number.

He looks up to see that his flight is now boarding.

* * *

 

It’s been a week since he’s talked to Dean really, and it’s not for lack of trying.

Seth wants to tell Dean that it probably wasn’t the best idea to engage in Jimmy’s texts, that maybe he should have thought of him first before talking to an ex Dean had clearly been apprehensive about already.

And Seth’s still mad about Dean looking at his texts, but he’s going to give him the benefit of the doubt. He did seem somewhat remorseful before everything blew up.

But mostly, he doesn’t want something so stupid to get in the way of him and Dean. Because none of that is worth the trouble, especially not if it means losing Dean.

But when Seth tries to talk to Dean when they’re about to make their entrance through the crowd, Dean just turns to Roman and asks him if they’re going out that night.

Even when Seth is trying to explain the finish for each match, Dean just waves him off, only to suspiciously pop up around the corner after Seth tells Roman five minutes later.

In the car, anytime Seth says _anything_ , even if it’s just to Roman about how much more gas they have left, Dean just turns the radio dial and bops his head along to some music and sings at the top of his lungs. It’s always some terrible pop music, and Dean never gets the words right. At one point, almost 2 minutes into the same Taylor Swift song that’s been played on at least four different stations, he thinks Dean is making up lyrics on purpose. There’s no way that Dean is actually hearing “’Cause Norwegians banned drugs” in some Taylor Swift chorus.

When Roman manages to almost break the stereo system – and most likely get charged with an exorbitant fee on his credit card when they return the rental car – Dean just stares at him with an innocent and wide-eyed “What?” Seth swears Roman’s going to murder Dean in his sleep that night. Instead, Roman just banishes Dean to the backseat indefinitely.

And if Seth weren’t invested in this, he’d actually be pretty amused, impressed even, at Dean’s commitment to avoiding him considering they work together so closely.

But he is invested. Seth tries to not let it bother him. He knows that Dean can be stubborn and he knows that if he’s actively trying to give him the cold shoulder, it just means that Dean still cares.

He just needs more time.

But Seth starts to wonder if things would ever be the same between them even if they do reconcile. The honeymoon phase was obviously over and even if they could make it through this obstacle, Seth uneasily wonders if this is really just a prelude of what’s to come.

He’s at home alone with these thoughts until one night, almost two weeks after the initial fight, he hears a knock on his door.

Dean’s standing on his porch in Iowa, drenched from the downpour outside, with his hands in his pockets and his lips quivering from the cold.

He always did have a flair for the dramatic.

“Can I come in?” he mumbles. It’s not an outright apology. Dean doesn’t do apologies. “It’s freezing out and the bus was runnin’ late.”

Seth crosses his arms in a show of defiance, but he’s not actually mad at Dean. He just doesn’t want Dean to know that he gives in too easily when it comes to him.

“Well?” Dean asks more urgently.

Seth gives him a long, hard look, but silently steps aside. Dean would have seen right through him, he reasons. And Seth doesn’t like confrontation anyway.

Once the door closes, Dean immediately pushes him towards the stairs. And Dean’s only been over once or twice, but he seems to remember the floorplan just fine.

“Dean, what-”

“Move,” Dean cuts him off, nudging him in the back.

Seth instinctively obeys, and Dean practically forces him down onto the bed when they reach the bedroom.

Seth lies back with his arm behind his head, confused and aroused at the same time, as he watches Dean open his nightstand drawer in search of some lube. When he finds it, he throws the bottle haphazardly onto the bed, next to Seth’s side.

Dean turns back to Seth and crawls towards him while he sheds his own clothes onto the floor. He starts stripping Seth down and Seth helps Dean along by lifting his arms over his head and lifting his hips.  When their clothes are completely discarded, Dean throws his leg over Seth’s hips, straddling him.

The weird thing is that it’s not done in a predatory manner though, or even really in a very sexual manner.

“I don’t under-” Seth starts, but Dean places an index finger on his lips to shut him up.

“Shh,” Dean murmurs, as he flips the top of the lube bottle and squeezes some out into his palm. He generously coats Seth with it and there’s a small noise that rumbles in the back of Seth’s throat when Dean touches him. His hair falls into his face as leans over and braces himself on one elbow and takes Seth’s length into his other hand. Dean bites the bottom of his lip, as he slowly lines up his hole with Seth’s cock.

Seth watches his lips part when he’s completely filled and his muscles contract with every breath he takes.

He’s gorgeous.

He thinks they’re going to fuck, have some mind-blowing make-up sex so they’re both too sore to walk the next morning. Which would be perfectly fine with Seth because tomorrow’s Thursday and they can stay in bed all day long.

But instead, Dean just stares into his eyes – studies him – for what seems to be an eternity, never saying a word. There’s nothing innocent in his eyes tonight, but they’re not full of desire like usual. They’re dark, yet calculated.

Seth lets Dean sit on top of him, bodies intertwined, as he traces the ripples of his abdomen and kisses the patch of hair running down his chest. Dean rocks himself back and forth on his cock every so often.

Slowly, patiently.

Dean’s small, occasional movements aren’t enough to get him either of them off, but it’s enough to make Seth silently lay there expecting – needing – more.           

Seth is starting to lose his patience, and the next time Dean shifts himself, he goes to grab Dean’s ass to anchor him in place. Dean promptly responds by swatting his hands away.

Seth then tries to grab his hair, his hips, his erection – anything Seth can get his hands on to make Dean do _something_ , but Dean responds again by pushing Seth’s hands away and giving him a stern look, _No_.

And Seth finally realizes that this is Dean’s way of apologizing. His way of telling Seth that he shouldn’t have assumed the worst, that he should’ve trusted him.

And as if they’re on the same wavelength finally, Dean leans down and plants a small, feather-light kiss on his forehead.

 _Sorry_.

Seth closes his eyes and doesn’t try to tell Dean what to do or force him to quicken the pace from then on. He holds back his moans and grips the sheets until his knuckles are white, as he tries not to move, not to obtain the friction he so desperately desires.

He wants to be at Dean’s mercy. To tell him that he’s sorry, too.

So he lets Dean worship his body for hours that night, lets him kiss and tease every inch of him and map out every blemish on his body, so that they fall asleep that night, half-hard, but somehow completely satisfied.


End file.
